Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
