I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
