About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
