So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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