Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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