too bad you live with your parents still
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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