Well apparently he's into motor boating.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Still dying that you shit outside
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize