I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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