Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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