a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
