trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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