get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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