oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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