when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize