We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
