Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
