I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sext me about skeletons
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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