He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize