i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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