she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
