Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize