was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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