peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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