I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
