Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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