margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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