My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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