There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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