so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
