Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize