I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize