He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
