it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
