so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
