OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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