update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
