Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
