He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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