next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
