Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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