Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
