Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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