i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
