I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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