i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
