Do vagina's smell?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can feel your judgement through the phone
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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