I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
