thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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