I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize