Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
