i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
