Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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