We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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