the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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