What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
