My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize