Buhtt sex?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
