Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
