dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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