You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
