Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
