Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize