She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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