dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
