i permit you to call me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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