I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
