His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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