1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
