Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
