i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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