also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize