Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
