I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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