we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
