i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize