Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
