Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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