She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
