I am puke
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
