i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
