her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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