Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize