I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
